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I’ve been fortunate to meet so many amazing people over the past 15 years - from school principles or guidance counselors, moms or daughters, celebrities or celebrated heroes - one thing has always stood out to me when I first meet someone: Their sense of Inner Style™.
They could have all the money in the world, be wearing the trendiest clothes, or live in the right neighborhood, but I would be most impressed when they shared their Inner Style™, that special spark that made them unique.
What are the core things that make you…you?
Do you have?
Self-confidence
Self-awareness
Self-knowledge
Tolerance
Acceptance
Sense of humor
Resiliency
Courage
Integrity
Passion
These are all elements of Inner Style™
So how do you find yours?
Start by asking yourself some of these questions:
What are your likes and dislikes?
How do you feel when you tell the truth?
What trends are you influenced by?
Who holds the most power in your life?
Who are you trying to impress?
Can you be true to yourself no matter what?
What do you value?
What are you going for in the world?
What mood are you typically in?
What seems to make you happy?
The more you journey toward your own self-discovery and self-development the more you can truly answer these questions. The good news is: there is no right answer. Our Inner Style™ will change as we do. Grow as we do. Expand as we do.
Three elements of Inner Style™ that I love are: humor, resiliency, and courage.
To be able to laugh at life and have a sense of humor helps you move through hard times and keeps things in perspective. Being able to bounce back from situations that don’t always go your way with resiliency not only helps define your character but is one of the best coping tools I know. And lastly, we often think of courage as being the absence of fear. But I define it as having fear and stepping through it anyway. Do you buckle under fear or do you charge through it and take risks? That’s Inner Style™.
Give some thought to who you are on the inside. We live in a world today that is bent on making us carbon copies of each other. And we have the massive influence of advertising and media that tells us our life will begin when we have something, weigh something, and wear something. A lot of people tell me they are waiting for a major change in their life before they live it.
Here are the top 4 things
people seem to be waiting for:
- “I am waiting to lose weight/be thinner.”
My answer is: Life doesn’t begin 5 pounds from now. You have to live your life now because the present is all we’ve got. Focusing on the future robs you of opportunities to enjoy your life –now. In the body you are in. Doesn’t mean you can’t work on your health or change your lifestyle. But it does mean you take your foot off the brake in waiting mode and put it on the gas to enjoy your life at full speed –now!
- “I am waiting to be in a love relationship/marriage.”
My answer is: Start with your own heart. You can’t give fully in any relationship unless you are already in a relationship with yourself. Love happens when we aren’t looking for it and in order to prepare for a good partnership – you have to be living your own life.
- “I am waiting until I have more money.”
My answer is: You have to find abundance in your present situation. We all dream of what kind of life we’ll have when we are rich – but don’t fantasize away your current status. When you feel abundant you attract more money to you. And in the end the adage of ‘you can’t take it with you’ is true. No one at the end of their life really counts their money – they count their blessings.
- “I am waiting to have a better job.”
My answer is: Why wait?
If you are miserable at your current job and it is impacting your life – you must get creative about your career. We so spend so much time working that we owe it to ourselves to find a job we can at least enjoy. There are a lot of alternative careers out there now – stop complaining and start doing some research on a new career path.
Remember, a job, money, relationships, body size…none of this defines you. You must find your own Inner Style™ by developing core character qualities and many elements of Inner Style™ are hard earned after years of insight, a tough experience, or daily soul searching. You can’t buy qualities of Inner Style™ in a department store or just read about them in a magazine. They are hard earned and worth it.
So today, begin by writing down what core qualities make you…you. See what kind of Inner Style™ you’ve got. And then write to me at info@withjess.com and share your thoughts.
I’d love to hear from you! |
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